LAN Party Rules

  1. Post your suggested rules for the LAN party as comments.

Also, I am hoping to turn this from a comment thread and make it into a wiki style thing.

Rule #10 - Modification of Unsecured PCs

If a LAN Party participant "inadequately" secures their PC while they are away from it, the other LAN Party participants are permitted to alter or modify the desktop and/or basic operations of the unsecured PC, including the installation of annoying software (i.e. Bonzai Buddy).  However, all alterations and/or modifications must be able to be undone by the owner in a reasonable amount of time.  (See Rule #4)  If a modification is not able to be easily undone by the owner, the "modifier" may be required to assist, of course, after a period of intense "ragging" on the PC owner for their general lack of PC knowledge.


Timmy LUVS his Bonzai Buddies (multiple instances, mind you) and Tony LUVS his desktop strippers!  HAHA!

Rule #9 - Pay Homage to thy Rig

You must pay homage to any LAN Party Participant that has spent more than the Gross National Product of a small African nation on their computer.  The form of the homage is at your discretion, but may include actions such as the following: Bowing in the direction of thy Rig as you pass by, offering one free frag during a multiplayer game to the owner of the PC out of respect of thy Rig, Professing your undying allegence to the owner of thy Rig for providing the PC industry with the necessary capital to facilitate progress in R&D, make a Mountain Dew offering to the owner of thy Rig while noting your unworthiness, sacrifice a small farm animal on the front lawn in honor of thy Rig's greatness.

Y'all just get ready now... bow before me and lick dirt from my boot heels.

Rule #8 - Growing a pair...

No LANner may whine like a little girl who just got whipped with Daddy's belt when thier respective teammate(s) stab them in the back. Nor may they use that as the excuse as to why they suck at that particular game and got thier ass handed to them (AHEM!...tony...AHEM!). They must simply cry in thier hands (silently while others continue the game) and simply admit that they didn't time thier own doublecross appropriately.

Rule #7 - Limitied Contact with Wife/Girlfriend

A LAN Party Participant may only engage in 5-minutes of phone conversation with a wife or girlfriend per every 6 hours of active gaming time. Inactive time such as eating, sleeping, or urinating does not count toward the 6 hours of active gaming time. Phone call times may be combined such that you may have one 10-minute call per 12 hours of gaming or one 20-minute call per 24 hours of gaming.


This is being posted by YOU, Fatty? We'll see how this works out...:-)

Looking for Hoes

Leaving the LAN party to go to the bar or other social gathering to look for hoes is strictly frowned upon.

Rule #6 - Snack Food/Drink Availability

In the interest of keeping all LANners alert and actively gaming, each LAN Party participant must make available for sale at least 15% of their snack food or caffeinated beverage supply to any other LANner. Of course, it should be expected that a significant "handling cost" will be added to the price of goods for sale at the Party. Plan accordingly.

Rule #5 - Virus Protection

All LAN party participants, prior to connecting to the network, must ensure that their rig has had some sort of Virus protection software installed and has been updated to the latest virus definitions available at the time of the Party. While connected to the Network, Virus protection software must be actively running. If a virus is detected, it is the responsibility of the first to detect the virus to notify all other LANners of the name, nature, and method of cleaning the virus from their rig.

In fact...

...a good idear would be to simply format and reinstall your OS (with ALL critical Windows updates please!), drivers and basic software (i.e. Antivirus, Virtual CD, etc.) right before the LAN. This also helps make sure that excess crap on your rig doesn't interfere with connecting to a multiplayer game.

Rule #4 - Right to Game

4. No LAN party participant may interfere, or in any way impede upon the other LANners ability to participate in a local multiplayer game on their own rig. Methods of interferrence include, but are not limited to, connecting to and subsequently overloading a power circuit, using up excessive bandwidth to download from the Internet while a multiplayer game in progress, turning down a multi-player game that is being formed in order to play a single-player game instead.

Rule #3 - File Sharing

3. Each participant must make available for sharing all useful files or disks with all other LAN party participants either via network or openly displayed CD cases/binder or via any other resonable sharing method. A file/disk is deemed useful if there is even a remote chance that any other LANner would be interested in obtaining it. Files of a personal nature are excluded.

Rule #2 - Brandon is Gay

2. Each LAN participant must insult Brandon or his Rig at least once throughout the weekend. Acceptable areas of insult include, but are not limited to: sexual tendancies, adoration for Windows ME, Networking Difficulties, Video Card driver problems, ferret caressing, obscure Quake Mod obsessions, and a general lack of gaming skills.

Hey Gordy...

...have I told you, "Fuck you!" lately?


We need to post these somewhere at the lan party.  We need rule # 1 BTW

Don't forget... fully insult my inate ability to make up my own words when I'm pissed. Un-fucking-credible!

or under...

or you'll get shaving cream in the face.